Me. And then Some.

Have I found you?
Beating half of my heart.

[Our minds intertwined as one]

Did my heart unconsciously call out to you?
Eager and open?

Have I found you?

Or am I staring at a reflection of my memory,
remembering it into existence?



Listening to: Flightless Bird- Iron and Wine

Like a water balloon about to burst
My emotions are threatening to spill
But where would they fall?
On my already soaked and heavy heart?
Who would catch them?
My arms ache under the weight of my unspilled emotions
My eyes sting from trying to hold them in.
Big girls don't cry.
Big girls don't cry?
Engineers don't cry.
How would you explain the pile of used tissue in my closet?
Maybe the tooth fairy left that when she came?
Or the mice I recently discovered in my house left it after watching that dvd that's been in the back of the closet?

Maybe I'm tired.
Maybe I'm just stressed.

Or maybe this is me telling you, I wish you would hold me while emotions free fall out of control, and tell me its okay.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

So, is God partial?

I totally think so. I know the Bible says he will have mercy on whom choses to have mercy on, but then it also says, He makes rain fall on the just and unjust abi?

Honestly those answers were not enough for me.
I mean, do I just sit here and hope and pray that he will have mercy on me?

See, I think God is partial to believers over non-believers. I think He was partial to James, Peter and John over the other nine disciples. And of course, how can we forget David, man after Gods own heart?

When Im not being plagued by 'where was Daniel when his friends were being burnt' kinda questions, I am constantly intrigued by the life of David.

I think David's problems began when he took Uriah's wife, and then on top of it killed the man! I can never stop wondering what was going through his head at that point. Then was he trying to cover up by sending the man home? I mean is the power of lust THAT strong?
Well that is another story.

But, God even sent the prophet to point out what he did wrong when david himself couldn't see it.

I thought there was a principle: the higher the esteem you are held in, the greater your punishment.
I guess not.

All Ananias and his wife did was embezzle money and look where it took them! They didn't even get a chance to repent!

Even Solomon received mercy because of his father, David.

I dont know about you, but it looks to me like David had a lot of pull with God. After reading and re-reading on the life of David, I might see why.

First of all, anybody that can stand to a 10-foot tall giant with five stones, and still BELIEVE *insert laughter* that he would conquer him has got to be mad in my books.
But David did, and I cant hep but think that he must have known something about God that we don't no?
Every time I read that story I imagine David literally having conversations with God as he is tending the sheep.  As in really 'hanging out' with him. How else would he have gotten to know him?

I mean I know God *scratches head* but when my 5-foot professor was standing in front of me telling me I was not good enough, I cried. At that point God was honestly far from my mind.
But here is this little boy telling this 10-foot giant that his God will deliver the philistine into his hands?

*iLaugh*

And then when he became King, he sought God in E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G.
Like ' God should I go battle these people'?
And then God would say 'Yes go ahead, I will give them into your hands'.
Or 'God should I attack these ones?'
And then God would be like ' Nah..go through the back when you hear marching then attack' (or something like that.)

I can definitely see why David was a man after Gods own heart.

And true, God may still chose to whom he shows mercy but as for me sha I want to err on the side of partiality.

Again, I am not proving any point, this is just what I came up with while studying.

So? What do you think?
Is God partial?

xxx
Fabulo-la

I sat down to coffee with my Greek-former lover (read that word loosely) the other day,
and for the life of me, I couldn't concentrate on listening to what he was saying.
He was going on and on about how busy summer school is and what not, but all I could think of as I sat there was..my very own spartan. My very own spartan.
While he was rambling on and on about some programming assignment, I blinked and whoa!
There he was in front of me dressed like a Roman general, sword, cape and all.
The  way he stood, and the authority in his stance...wow.
Next thing I know, he bowed ever so slightly  slightly and said 'My lady'.
I put my hand to my chest in utter shock and disbelief only to realize I was dressed like a Grecian princess. Let me just say,the fabrics are even more grander than they look on TV.
I curtsied slightly and replied 'Sire'.

'Fabulo-la! Fabulo-la! Are you ok?'
And just like that, my dream as a Grecian princess with my Roman general pissed into the air.
Needless to say, listening to him ramble on and on and some computer something was just not...
No. I went back home to watch Gladiator. Again. For the 46th time.
Whatever.

My overactive imagination has foiled a perfectly good coffee..err...date?
Just like the other time that I had dinner and imagined dude was someone else the WHOLE time.

Seriously? Is my imagination going to be my curse?

Then there was the time I ... dreamt of... Lil' Wayne.
You know what?
I'll stop there.

In other news...
Notice the license on the side??
Yes. My. Work. Is. Licensed.
All the stealing thieving taking  copying-without-sourcing going around
I had to take drastic measures..so.. Be warned!
You can be sued o!

Now that is out of the way *dusts hands*

Ms.O mentioned on her blog that she will be more open about her feelings.
*now scratching head while contemplating whether to try it*
Hmmm..... *still scratching head*
Hmm..yea...no.
Not happening.
Sorry Ms. O, you are on your own with that.
Good luck with it though.

NiceAnon mentioned that my blog did a 360 on her.
*shrugs*
I like to think that I just .... discovered myself.
Im still giving gist, just in a err...errm..coded way?
Lool

In other news, do you think David and Uriah are friends?
The thought has been plaguing me all week.

Hope you guys are good?
xxx
Fabulo-la

P.S. The 2nd round of Nigerian Blog Awards is here. Go vote!